I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
