shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
