Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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