He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
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i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
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No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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