Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
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Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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