I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
