if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
