So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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