fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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