oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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