Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize