YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
