So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize