You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
