Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
