If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
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BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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