We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
