Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
