HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You took a bar mat shot.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
