Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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