I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
