i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
