You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
