seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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