so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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