i would punch a child for taco bell
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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