I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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