O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
