Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
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I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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