WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
where does the pee come out of this thing
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
