Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.