p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
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You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT