My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"