i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it