I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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