I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
only if we run a train.
done.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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