Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
