Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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