it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
