It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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