yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
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Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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