So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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