Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
