The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
