thus making me awesome and them whores
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
