You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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