I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
