Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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