when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
