Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

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(714): View more from California

I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.

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(802): View more from Vermont

the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME

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(415): View more from California

the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...

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(703): View more from Virginia

keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.

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(415): View more from California

You kept trying to hail an ambulance

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(302): View more from Delaware

She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.

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(434): View more from Virginia

you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual

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