I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize