i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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