Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize