Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize