My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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