Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
