hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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