but the lizard people decide everything anyway
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
