Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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