Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
