dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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