Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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