The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
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No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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