I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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