people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
