and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
